Soft, gentle breezes, alternated by slightly ticklish brushes of a large…plumed fan?
Ah, that’s nice. It almost makes this headache bearable. Feeling about as energetic as a limp dishrag, Julien tries to ignore the feeling of his strength ebbing even more. But sleep is impossible with that faint yapping in his head. Ugh. Never again. No more booze for me.
“The spores of the Blood Moths are highly hallucinogenic, leaving the mind open to suggestion. Combining it with the consumption of Girot fruit is a sure-fire way to the hangover of hangovers.”
The words barely register. Cracking an eye open, Julien stares straight into a large red circle on a dark, giant fan wafting calmly in his face. Startled, he pops both eyes open. Three fans treat him in turns.
With eyes wide open, it is hard to miss the health bar in the corner of his vision steadily declining. That’s all Julien needs to sober up.
What’s going on? There’s nothing threatening here, except for that sledgehammer in my head and my stomach imitating a washing machine…
Trying his best to focus, Julien identifies the fans as wings of three large moths. They look identical to the one about which he had that funny dream. Something about baking pies? And eating them? It is only on the third passing of the wings that he notices two nozzles they have attached to his legs and one to his torso.
It is in that instant that he notices a distinct almost-lack of feeling in those exact areas. There is a pulsating suction, between wet and dry, that seems to drive an increasing fatigue spreading throughout his body.
Seriously! Vampire moths? Well, they won’t get me. But as he grasps for his sword, he makes a startling discovery. The sheath is no longer there!
Feeling slightly colder every second, to the point it feels like his heart is shivering, Julien struggles to bring the rest of the scene into focus.
He is more than halfway up a tree. The bark underneath him is rough. His dagger is missing too. Several pencil-like objects lie on the branch a few arm’s lengths away. The stingers!
As soon as he starts to move, the moths start flapping their wings. It launches a silver mist that hangs over the tree, only to be dispersed by a night breeze. As if reading Julien’s awkward backsliding as a failed attempt on their part, they start beating their wings furiously. Movement becomes difficult, but his previous effort is enough.
Julien grins triumphantly as his right hand closes on two stingers. “Midnight snack is over, suckers.”
Jabbing aggressively – a single ‘Triple Thrust’ is enough – and he is surprised to see the wings freeze up mid-beat. Not long after, the nozzles detach. Julien crawls away from the scene of the awkward foursome.
As his health stabilizes around the halfway mark, he takes a moment to cradle his throbbing head. His memory is foggy, to say the least. Closing his eyes, he tries to remember.
He had just started walking towards the tree to spend the night in it. The air smelled sweet. There were those cute, mesmerizing lights, and then that moth showed up. Then that pie and then…
Nothing comes to him.
What the hell happened?
~<>~
“I like you, mister…mister butterfly.”
Julien grinned at the fuzzy, antennaed face hovering in front of him.
The butterfly flapped its wings, a twinkle in its multifaceted eyes. “Please, call me Monty.”
“Really? You’re the…the best.” Julien, legs dangling on the edge of the tree branch and gesturing animatedly, swayed dangerously. If not for a fine-haired wing balancing him at the last moment, he would have fallen off. “Y’know, at first, I thought you were a giant face. Red eyes on your wings. Kinda scary. But…but you’re not. You’re actually…fuzzy?”
A slight, silver cloud detached from the butterfly’s wings as they stabilized Julien. While Monty pushed him slightly back to sit more in the middle of the broad branch, the world suddenly became a lot brighter. Party lights floated all around, and soulful rock music – with just the right amount of funk – came out of nowhere.
The branches started swaying on the rhythm, and a score of other butterflies came fluttering down from the top of the tree to start dancing. Some of them took a seat on floating stools that drifted to a bar on a branch higher up, where a centipede wearing a top hat kept busy like a one-arthropod assembly line – cleaning glasses, filling them up again, and passing them to the butterflies.
“I’m telling you, Mon…Mon…Monty. You’re the first nice person I’ve met around here. And you throw one hell of a party.”
Vibing on synthesizers underlaid with an amazing bassline, Julien nodded his head. Groovy.
At that moment, Monty handed him the pie again.
“Maybe later, Mon. I’m not…not really hungry right now.”
“But it tastes better warm.”
“Really? Maybe you could, I don’t know, put it back in the oven?” Julien continued dancing in his seat, tapping his feet and swaying left and right. Then he pointed to the beams of light that shot around the tree. “It’s not just the music. Those lights…” Julien nodded at the red, orange, purple, and yellow lights dancing around the tree. “Perfect syn…synchri…synchro. Those fairies know what’s up.”
~<>~
Julien opens his eyes again and traces the branch from the moths to where he found the stingers and beyond. That’s where he happens to see a strange pie-like shape. He shuffles towards it and gives it a once-over. The orange, creamy crust is missing two bites. A swirl of deep cherry and amber can be seen inside.
Alright. What are you? Julien activates his lens.
“Girot Fruit. The crust-like skin is innocent enough, but one mouthful of its inner flesh takes you from buzzed to blackout drunk in one, two, now!”
Ugh! What on earth possessed me to eat this? That’s it! No consumption without inspection. Julien shakes his head. So, I got horribly drunk. But this is ridiculous. Why can’t I remember a single thing? And this headache… Julien groans. It’s impossible to think.
“Synthisa Sarcina Activa.”
The voice croaking the words sounds nothing like him. He is glad to discover that the Balmea, his saving grace, does not only help with wounds and neurotoxins but with hangovers as well. It dampens the hammers on an anvil to a bearable throbbing.
Now, some Qami to recover, and then we’ll start cracking this case.
Dismissing the knapsack, Julien sighs. If only the Fool were more reliable. It would really be nice to not have to figure out everything myself.
~<>~
The third song was a slow one. The lights toned down in intensity, and the butterflies went round in slow circles as Julien vented his feelings.
“I mean, it’s a death trap down there. Giant salamanders! Killer rats. Y’know how many times I almost…almost died? Then I finally get above ground again. But it’s not any safer. Maybe later, Monty…buddy.” Julien pushed the pie away. “I might be…might be hungry in a bit. Did you know about the bees? Stingers as big as my hand. But I got ’em. Got ’em good. And took their stingers. Wanna see?”
Julien took some out of his pocket and held them out.
Monty instantly beat his wings to propel himself backwards.
“Not a fan either, eh? Hehe. Fan. Don’t worry.” Julien chucked the stingers over his shoulder. Most disappeared in the darkness underneath the tree, but a few landed on the branch. They rolled on for a few centimeters only to come to a stop halfway between Julien and the tree trunk. “Cool?”
Monty appeared to relax immediately.
“And I’m supposed to have this…this guide. Calls himself the Fool. Supposed to show up when I call Synthisa Activa! Useless–”
“Julien? What the…what the hell? What’s going on?”
To Julien’s surprise, the multicolored figure of the Fool suddenly sat next to him, the colors of his tunic switching position randomly.
“Speaking of the idiot…or should I say Fool? Thank you for your assistance, bastard.”
“What was that?” The Fool’s eyes narrowed.
“You heard me! Stupid…magic teleporting me to this… this wacked-up world. Expecting me to be a savior. Not giving me any useful info.”
“You un…ungrateful…” The Fool stood up. “Do you know how many times I’ve saved your ass? There are rules to this place.”
Not liking the difference in height, Julien uncrossed his legs and got his knees and then his feet under himself. “So what?! I literally asked for none of this. You couldn’t pick anyone else?”
“You think I picked you?” The Fool barked a laugh. “If I had any control whatsoever, you think I would have…would have picked you? Clueless Julien. W-whining all the time. ‘What’s this, Fool? What’s that, Fool? Tell me! It’s your job, isn’t it?’”
The Fool’s voice increased in volume incrementally every few words as he built up quite a rant. Except for Monty, all the butterflies fled the commotion. Even the centipede looked alarmed and ceased his steady production.
“Seems like nothing has changed,” he concluded. “Ages pass, but losers will be losers.”
Julien crossed his arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You think you’re so pitiful? The only one with problems? ‘I didn’t ask for this!’ You think I did? Imagine having to guide millions of aimless man-children too stupid to figure out basic things and dying in the most ridiculous ways. All of them giving you shit, but you have to – because your boss literally chained you to the job – guide these ‘chosen ones’ to their destiny until one of them succeeds.”
Julien scoffed. “If you’re always this helpful, it is no wonder you never did.”
“You don’t get it! It is not as simple as giving you a how-to. With every failure, I gradually lost parts of who I used to be. I don’t even know what I know! Some of my reactions don’t even make sense to me!” Deflating, the Fool sat down again. “I’m going to fail again. I just know it. I’ll be stuck like this forever.”
Julien was stunned. “That sucks, man.”
The Fool sighed. “Tell me about it.”
“I had no idea you were under so much…so much pressure. Your boss sounds like a dick. He kind of reminds me of … someone I know.”
“Who?”
“No one important. Just some guy pushing me to be something I’m not.” Julien stared beyond the lights of the fairy party. Into the darkness.
Slowly, the band started striking up a tune. The centipede resumed his assembly. Julien scoffed. “‘Take care picking your major, Julien.’” He grumbled, his voice half an octave lower. “‘It is the start of your career, and with your marks, you can do anything. Medicine, Law, Engineering. Do you know what I sacrificed just so you can have this opportunity?’
Well, guess what, dad?! No one asked you to! You just want me to be what you couldn’t! What if I have different dreams, eh? Ever thought about that?! You know what? Screw this mission!” Julien unbuckled his belt. Nearly losing his balance, he grasped his sheathed sword, waved it around a few times, and hurled it off into the night. “And screw your boss!” He sat down with a satisfied smile. “Let’s just…you know…chill! Monty has this…amazing pie. Take a bite. Enjoy the tunes and lightshow.”
Monty took the cue and hovered closer with the pie.
“Thanks, Julien. I wish I could.” The Fool looked wistful. “But I can’t consee…cunso… I can’t eat or drink anything.”
Monty then pushed the pie towards Julien, who shook his head.
“Maybe later, buddy.”
Monty hung his antennae.
~<>~
No matter how Julien racks his brain, the events remain obscured behind a massive, hazy curtain. But as the sky gradually becomes lighter, the results come to light slowly.
His first discovery is further up the branch where it connects to the majestic trunk. His dagger is stabbed into it next to what, with some imagination, could be a heart split by an arrow. On the left side of the arrow are three letters – J, U, and L. On the right side is a C, something indiscernible, and an S in reverse.
~<>~
“There! P-proof enough?” Julien slammed his dagger into the tree next to his expressive piece of art. “I love her, I tell you. That dark, wavy hair of hers. Those sparkling eyes. And her…her body. So sexy and smart! And… and confident.”
“Then why…why’d you never do anything about it?”
“I was going to. Someday.”
“Sure you were.”
“I was! You know, I was in Paris with her? Something was bound to have happened. But then this…” Julien gestured around. “This happened.”
“Of course.”
Monty flapped between them, rolling all of his eyes.
“Don’t…don’t give me that! My life was fine before your boss dropped me down the rabbit hole.”
“Julien, you…you may be less of a whiner than I thought, but I still call bull…bullshit.”
Julien crossed his arms. “How would you know?”
The Fool grinned. “I just know for a fact that, if that were the case, you…you wouldn’t be here.”
“And let me guess, you can’t explain this.”
The Fool merely shrugged.
“Whatever.” Julien turned away from the Fool and walked back towards the pie. “You know, I’m actually a bit hungry now.”
At those words, Monty seemed to perk up. He flapped animatedly and raced after Julien.
~<>~
Shaking his head, Julien quickly puts aside the drunken profession of love. Nothing to unpack there.
The next discovery is less fun. Upon reactivating the knapsack to investigate its contents, he finds out that at least a third of his resources are missing. Are you kidding me? What else did I lose?
Julien thrusts a hand in the pockets of his shorts and is glad to discover that his precious pearls are still all accounted for.
Still uncomfortable with the scarce light of twilight, Julien decides to stay in the tree. What if there is something down there that had somehow gotten him to eat that pie? Better to face it in the full light of day. He sighs as he stares up at the few stars that are still in the sky. Guess I have some time on my hands.